In the heart of the fetid swamp, an air of levity hovered around our band of adventurers. Elsewhere, ever the jester among them, mused aloud about the benefits of dispatching a companion, much to the chagrin and amusement of the others. Their banter took a detour through the bygone lexicon of the Ancients, pondering the use of quaint terms like “rouge” and the old-fashioned spelling of “wife” as “W-Y-F-F-E.”

It was Ratso Rattington, the snazzily dressed telepathic rat, who brought them back to the gravity of their journey with a recap of their exploits. He reminded them of the treacherous Muckmire they had navigated, their run-in with the curiously aquatic mermatos, and their foray into the vine-entangled ruins they now faced.

Jasper Huckleberry, their de facto leader, guided them through the looming dangers of the swamp: the sudden structural collapses and the shadowy figures that lurked just beyond sight. Their path led them to a stone plaza, an enigma in the midst of decay, with vine bridges arching over a gaping pit from which more vines twisted skyward. With cautious resolve, they began their descent.

The group split naturally, some still scaling the earthen walls as the others reached the pit’s murky floor. Jasper, in a moment of misfortune, fell with a sickening crunch, his carapace cracked, revealing injured flesh beneath. Those at the bottom—Smokey, Jeffries, Elsewhere, Dust, and Bucks—set out to explore the chamber, shrouded in darkness and choked with verdure.

Elsewhere, employing his Infravision, scanned for heat signatures among the vegetation. A chilling revelation came when he detected a movement without heat—a creature either dead or exothermic in nature. Dust, attempting to wield pyrokinesis, only managed to expel a comical fart, much to the group’s chagrin.

Their laughter was cut short when plant-like creatures burst forth, their long fronds racing towards the adventurers. The rustling of hidden entities signaled that these were not the only threats veiled by greenery. As the group readied themselves for a fight, they likened their predicament to an ancient office park ambush, finding humor even in the face of danger.

Amidst the chaos, they sought to find order, looking for the initiative that would guide their strikes. Frustration mounted as some lamented their slow reactions, fearing the enemies would be felled before they could act. Yet the battle surged on.

An enemy, sinuous and bronze-fronded, leapt at Elsewhere, the most vulnerable among them. But the mutant’s stature, which he dubbed “tactically short,” allowed him to evade the ensnaring attack. Jasper, too, found himself in peril, an enemy capitalizing on his wounded state. With agile limbs, he deflected the strike, sending his assailant tumbling into a nearby cubicle.

Misfortune struck as Jeffries, despite his towering form, was grappled by an enemy. Bucks, still descending, cursed and reached out with telepathy, only to find the creature’s mind a fortress of instinct, impervious to his psychic touch. He likened them to political figures, driven by base impulses, as he struggled to make sense of the encounter.

Below, Smokey’s zapper glove crackled with futile energy, missing its mark. Remembering a mutation that granted a second action, he swung again with an electric baton, but to no avail. Elsewhere swung his axe with all his might, managing only to shear the tip of a frond. Jeffries, in turn, smashed his bone club into the plant binding his leg, dealing a heavy blow but failing to free himself.

Flattus and Prodigy, still navigating the vines, pressed on. Prodigy, invoking the power of his patron AI, hurled an attack at two nearby enemies, causing them to reel and resist the onslaught. Jasper, injured but undeterred, fired his laser pistol into the fray, missing his target by inches. Paolo, having completed his descent, steadied himself to unleash a laser eye mutation attack.

As the battle waged, the adventurers weighed the risks of their mutations against the rewards. A calculated gamble by one led to the decimation of an enemy, leaving it a smoldering, irradiated heap. The effects of “plasticity” were debated, strategies were devised, and the enemies were reduced to mulch, amidst jests about whether Jeffries’ fur might be stained by the carnage.

The area, now quiet save for the panting of the victorious, was a maze of cubicles and closed doors, a larger room obscured by a glass wall with a route scrawled across it. A shrine, adorned with a vessel of glowing green liquid, beckoned to Smokey, who approached with a mix of curiosity and caution.

The adventurers uncovered a device festooned with moss, its knobs and spigots a mystery of purpose. Nearby skeletons, in a tableau of sudden demise, hinted at an unknown catastrophe. They found what seemed to be a paper cup dispenser, now home only to dust and decay.

A press of a knob by Dust’s noodly appendage, and the glowing green liquid trickled forth, igniting a playful banter between him and Smokey. Prodigy, cautious and reverent, hesitated to sample the unknown substance. Jasper, more daring or perhaps foolhardy, tasted the liquid to no effect.

Intent on preserving some for later study, Dust and Smokey engaged in an agility contest to fill a water skin. Meanwhile, Flattus tended to the wounds of Jeffries and Jasper, his healing arts mitigating the toll of battle.

Bucks, ever the investigator, found a door requiring a “stone of passage.” Its use summoned a red light and a noise, startling the group and evoking memories of temples past and the curses of fantastical realms. They joked about fan fiction tropes, their laughter echoing through the ruins.

The southern alcove marked their entry, the central room a warren of cubicles, but it was the white rectangle that drew Elsewhere’s attention. Inside, he found tables, benches, and large metal boxes—one transparent but handleless, containing vibrant packaged loafs, the others, refrigerators, which when opened by Elsewhere’s strength, unleashed a moldy miasma that sent him reeling.

Key Events
  • The session begins with a humorous exchange where one character contemplates killing another, followed by a discussion about using old-timey phrases like “rouge” instead of “blush” and spelling “wife” as “W-Y-F-F-E.”
  • Ratso Rattington, a snazzily dressed telepathic rat, provides a recap of the group’s previous adventures, including navigating the perilous Muckmire, encountering aquatic-like tomatoes called “mermatos,” and exploring vine-shrouded ruins.
  • The group, led by Jasper Huckleberry, faces various dangers in the swamp, including structural collapses and mysterious creatures.
  • The adventurers find themselves in a stone plaza with strange vine bridges and a large pit with twisting vines emerging from it, which they descend into.
  • The group is split into two, with some characters still climbing down as others reach the bottom of the pit.
  • Jasper Huckleberry falls and is injured, with a cracked carapace and exposed flesh.
  • The characters at the bottom, including Smokey, Jefferies, Elsewhere, Dust, and Bucks, begin to explore the chamber, which is dark and overgrown with vegetation.
  • Elsewhere uses InfraVision to detect heat signatures but notices something moving in the vegetation that doesn’t have a heat signature, indicating it might be dead or exothermic.
  • Dust attempts to use pyrokinesis but fails, resulting in a humorous moment where they fart instead.
  • The group is suddenly ambushed by plant-like creatures with long fronds that run towards them, and more rustling sounds indicate there are more creatures hidden in the vegetation.
  • The session ends with the group preparing for combat against the plant creatures in the overgrown chamber, which is humorously likened to an office park.
  • A player clarifies their actions, indicating they sometimes unintentionally perform certain actions, but often it’s deliberate.
  • The group discusses locating the initiative order, which is found in the upper right of the interface, symbolized by crossed swords.
  • A player expresses frustration with their characters’ low initiative rolls, expecting enemies to be defeated before their turn.
  • An enemy leaps over obstacles and targets the character Elsewhere, who has the lowest HP among the party.
  • The GM checks the enemy’s associated initiative and describes the attack as bronze fronds attempting to wrap around Elsewhere.
  • Elsewhere’s player describes their character as “tactically short,” allowing them to duck under the attack due to their height.
  • Another enemy uses pack tactics and targets the character Jasper, who is wounded.
  • Jasper’s player describes how Jasper uses his bug arms to deflect the enemy’s attack, causing it to land in a nearby cubicle.
  • The GM mistakenly rolls the wrong die for an enemy’s attack on the character Jefferies, who is hit and grappled by the enemy, taking two points of damage.
  • Bucks’ player curses in frustration, questioning the enemies’ abilities and deciding to use telepathy on the creature grappling Jefferies.
  • As Bucks is still climbing down, he attempts to use telepathy, but finds the creature operates on pure instinct, rendering the telepathy useless.
  • Bucks’ player makes a political joke comparing the creatures to the Republican Party, running on instinct.
  • Dust, who is on top of Jefferies, is targeted by another enemy, but a reflex saving throw is made to avoid the attack.
  • Dust’s player checks for mutations that might help but finds none applicable at the moment.
  • The enemy wraps around Dust, dealing three points of damage, but Dust’s mutation prevents damage from normal attacks, so no damage is taken.
  • Smokey attempts to use a zapper glove on an enemy near Elsewhere but misses.
  • Smokey’s player remembers a mutation that grants a second action, attempting another attack with an electric baton but misses again.
  • Elsewhere tries to attack an enemy with an axe but only manages to lop off the end of a frond.
  • Another enemy charges at Elsewhere but fails to hit due to Elsewhere’s armor and shield.
  • Jefferies uses a bone club to attack the plant on his leg, dealing significant damage but not removing it.
  • Flattus continues climbing down without attempting to move faster.
  • Prodigy uses a mutation to attack two enemies near Elsewhere and Smokey, dealing damage and causing them to make fortitude saves.
  • Jasper uses a laser pistol but misses the enemy.
  • Paolo finishes climbing and prepares to use a laser eye mutation to attack the enemies.
  • The session continues with the characters engaging in combat with the plant-like enemies.
  • A player is attempting to use a mutation power and is informed that they need to roll at least an 11 for the power to have any effect, with a +1 bonus to their roll.
  • There is a risk of something bad happening if a 1 is rolled, and if the roll is under 10, the player could lose the use of the power.
  • The player decides to “burn” three points to boost their roll, resulting in a successful use of the power.
  • The target of the power is one of the healthy enemies attacking Dust, which has not been previously damaged.
  • The enemy fails its fortitude save against the player’s mutation check of 24 and takes full damage, leaving it as a smoldering, irradiated mass.
  • The irradiated enemy will take additional damage on its turn.
  • A discussion about the mechanics of the mutation power “plasticity” occurs, clarifying that the player does not gain the benefits listed at lower levels of the power table.
  • The player decides to attack the enemy with a stone axe, dealing two points of damage and reducing the enemy to a pile of mulch.
  • There is a humorous exchange about whether the character Jeffries, a big gorilla, is wearing any clothes and the potential for his fur to be stained by the mulch.
  • An enemy attempts to attack the character Jasper but fails.
  • The player Chris steps away briefly, and the GM suggests it’s a good time for a break if anyone needs it.
  • The character Ratso Rattington is discussed, with the decision that he will be an inventory item on the character Bucks’ sheet, rather than an active participant in the game.
  • The GM warns that if Ratso is sent into a clearly lethal situation, it could result in the end of the character.
  • The character Bucks attempts to attack an enemy with a duralloy knife but misses.
  • The character Smokey tries to use a gas generation mutation but fails to produce any effect, and a subsequent melee attack also misses.
  • The character Elsewhere is recovering balance and cannot make a melee attack, so attempts to use telekinesis to push plants back but rolls poorly, triggering a mutation defect.
  • The GM guides the player through accessing the defects table, and the character Elsewhere ends up with the defect “Ipsilateral Body Plan,” which makes the body notably lopsided. A subsequent roll determines the severity of the defect.
  • A mutant with feet facing opposite directions loses 15 feet on movement.
  • The character experiences pain as one foot reverses direction due to telekinesis.
  • The last plant wolf is killed, leaving no more enemies.
  • Jeffries clubs the plant wolf on his leg, finishing it off, and it scatters into torn vegetation.
  • Flatus, hanging on vines above, tries to use a spear to attack from behind Elsewhere but fails.
  • There is a bug with the Foundry VTT where moving one token moves another token owned by the same player.
  • The bug is speculated to be a base Foundry issue, possibly related to a recent update.
  • Prodigy invokes a patron AI to deal with the plant monsters, creating a two-dimensional nil space field that rips one apart.
  • Jasper uses a laser pistol to almost bisect another plant wolf, which remains mobile.
  • Apollo uses a stone axe to hack at the nearly destroyed plant wolf, turning it into a pile of chopped salad and scrambled eggs.
  • Dust attempts to attack the last plant wolf with a tendril but misses.
  • Bucks stabs the last plant wolf with a duraloid knife, causing minor damage.
  • Smokey uses laser eyes on the last plant wolf, which is still going despite focused attacks.
  • Elsewhere delivers a mighty blow with a shield and weapon, tearing apart the rooty core of the final plant wolf, ending the threat.
  • The area is described as a maze-like structure with low walls, a larger enclosed room with closed doors, and a glass wall with a route drawn across it.
  • There is a shrine with a vessel of glowing green liquid on a stand in an alcove.
  • The shrine is approached by Smokey, who is curious about the glowing liquid.
  • The shrine is covered in moss and has an opening facing downward into the rectangular stand.
  • The group discovers a device covered in moss with two knobs and spigots, one possibly blue and the other red, which are not leaking any liquid.
  • The players speculate about the colors of the knobs and the fact that the liquid is not spilling out.
  • There are no skeletons immediately around the device, but some are found in nearby chairs or on the floor, suggesting they died suddenly.
  • The area lacks ash, but the presence of plants suggests they may have grown from carpeting.
  • A tube with squishy things is identified as a paper cup dispenser, but only dirt and detritus are found in the recessed area where paper cups would have been.
  • Dust uses a noodly appendage to press a knob from across the room, causing glowing green liquid to trickle out.
  • Smokey is surprised by the liquid’s glowing properties despite claiming he cannot be surprised, leading to a playful exchange with Dust.
  • Prodigy is encouraged to drink the liquid, but hesitates as it has not been “divinely anointed” like a previous substance he consumed.
  • The liquid smells strongly of damp vegetation and decay, similar to the swamp outside.
  • Jasper, a character with unique anatomy, tastes the liquid but finds it unremarkable.
  • The group considers taking some of the liquid in a container for later experimentation.
  • Dust attempts to fill Smokey’s water skin with the liquid, leading to an agility contest between them.
  • Flattus heals Jeffries’ cuts and discusses the impact of constitution loss on hit points.
  • Jasper, who has fallen and is slightly injured, is examined by Flattus but is not seriously hurt.
  • Bucks investigates a door with an obscured window, recognizing it requires a “stone of passage” to open.
  • The stone of passage is used, activating a red light and a noise, startling the group.
  • The session includes references to past experiences in a temple, the use of fantasy curses, and a mention of fan fiction about the show “Pirates of Dark Water.”
  • The players joke about a fictional work titled “Ponies of Dark Water,” which includes Lovecraftian elements and fan fiction tropes.
  • The group discusses the layout of the area they are exploring, noting a door, a white rectangle, and obscured rooms due to vegetation and wall openings.
  • The southern alcove is identified as the entry point where the party descended into the current area.
  • The central area of the room is described as having a set of cubicles.
  • Alex’s character, Elsewhere, decides to investigate the white rectangle, which is a room within a room containing tables with benches and four large metal boxes.
  • Three of the metal boxes are on the northern wall, sized to hold a human body, with a small and a larger door each.
  • The fourth box is shorter, wider, and has a transparent front but no handle.
  • Elsewhere examines the box with the transparent front, finding it contains brightly colored loafs in small packages, obscured by plant matter.
  • Some packages have the writing of the Ancients, which the characters cannot read.
  • The players joke about finding a snack machine and reference “Twinkies.”
  • Elsewhere moves to investigate the non-transparent boxes, which are identified as refrigerators.
  • Elsewhere opens the top door of the leftmost refrigerator, requiring a strength check, which is passed with a 25.
  • Upon opening, a horrible smell and a cloud of mold are released, causing Elsewhere to cough and retch, taking two points of damage.
  • Flattus, another character, is nearby but manages to avoid the mold by making a successful fortitude save.
  • Elsewhere vacates the room due to the mold, and the players joke about the characters’ reactions to the situation.
  • The session ends with the players discussing wrapping up for the night and the possibility of switching to playing “Stars Without Number” or “Delta Green.”
  • The players make light-hearted comments about their characters and the potential for future adventures.